If I’m a lot… go find less
I had nothing left to say … so all I could do was cry.
Eddie stayed strong for both of us, and reserved his emotions as best he could. We hugged each other so tight, and I got in my car.
I drove away and watched Eddie waving to me through the rear view mirror. My painful tears that night were pivotal and were also an intuition. I remember feeling like that would be the last time I ever saw Eddie. I was closing a chapter without having said it. I trusted my body, my overwhelming tears, and my pain surging through every inch of my being. I understood what had just occurred.
That night I barely slept a wink. I was moving to Paris tomorrow, and I kept repeating this fact over and over again in my thoughts. I had a one-way ticket and was going to land in France and have to adjust and “make it work.”
No turning back. I think I went through every emotion in the book. Suddenly, my alarm clock started to buzz. I jumped out of bed, showered and put on my jeans and striped navy and white t-shirt. I was going to be French in all ways from appearance, to lifestyle, and hopefully speaking the language.
After more tearful goodbyes with my mom, dad and Simba, I was in the airport all checked in and ready to board my flight to dream land. I thought about what I would do for my first couple of days in Paris…
I had rented a stunning one bedroom apartment complete with a full kitchen and balcony. I would be staying there for the first three weeks until my attic near the Pantheon was available. I envisioned daily walks through the Luxembourg Gardens, sitting at a café for two hours feasting on Chevre Chaud Salade and Duck Confit, strolling the open-air markets and retreating into a museum in the late afternoons. I would spend the first several weeks taking it all in, and then school would commence and I would be on my way to being a wine expert.
My last emotion as I boarded my flight to Paris and flew out of California was pure excitement. I am so lucky.